Monday, January 18, 2010

smoking satire. or is it irony? or just sarcasm? i don't know. i feel like winona ryder in reality bites: i know it when i see it.

any way, i like these book titles even if they are not all that clever. it probably appeals to the part of me that is anti the social pariahism, hysterical roll-back of basic personal freedoms, and general malediction flung at smokers without heed to the reasons people smoke and how much they actually hate themselves for it. 

either way, i like them today, being in a mildly grey frame of mind - in case you can't tell. a sudden then sustained decrease in cigarettes makes you down. an extra discovery.  but a small win today. i had no cigarettes at work and fought and won many small skirmishes against insurgent cravings. 


  1. Hey there.

    I'm not sure if you're looking for advice or encouragement or anything at all. Advice might even tick you off; I'm not sure, but I hope not. In any case, I wanted to tell you that, five years ago, I FINALLY quit smoking after 25 years of smoking up to two packs a day. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I had tried many times before and failed. Here are some of the things that helped me quit for good.

    1. Realizing that the only way OUT of the cravings was to go through them. It because my mantra: "The only way out is through; the only way out is through." Cravings come and go. When they come, let them. Feel the craving wash over you like a wave, and realize that it will pass. You don't have to act upon it. Really. It is only your body crying out for the nicotine it is addicted to. Over time, the waves comes less and less. And there will be a time, months out, when they do not come at all anymore.

    2. Using the patch to wean myself off of the nicotine and to reduce the feeling of the waves. One day, I forgot to put a patch on and was really feeling strong cravings. I sat there literally feeling my lips pulsate and throb for the lack of nicotine. It was the strangest thing! Then I remembered I didn't put a new patch on ... quickly did so ... and felt a sense of relief shortly after. This helped me realize that it was the nicotine I was addicted to ... the cigarettes were just the vehicle to deliver it (along with black smoke and tar and all those other bad things).

    3. Realizing that I did not always want to smoke ... that I lived just fine without smoking when I was younger ... that my non-smoking family and friends lived fine without smoking. The only thing different was that I was addicted to nicotine; they were not. Could you imagine if we treated nicotine addiction as we did illegal drugs? "Excuse me, boss; I'm jonesing right now ... got to step outside to get my fix ... be right back!" It's funny how nicotine addiction is socially acceptable.

    4. Realizing that smoking was a BIG part of my life. It was like punctuation marks all through my day:

    Wake up, smoke smoke.
    Coffee, smoke smoke.
    Get dressed, smoke.
    Breakfast, smoke smoke smoke.
    Drive to work, smoke smoke smoke.
    Work break, smoke smoke.
    Lunch, smoke smoke smoke.
    Work break, smoke smoke.
    Heading home, smoke smoke smoke.

    Without those punctuation marks, life became one giant blur without stops! Wake up, coffee, breakfast, work, work, work, work, lunch, work, work, work, work, work, work, home.... It was horrible! The first two days I quit (over a weekend), I literally sat in my chair and cried and did nothing more than get up to go to the bathroom and eat. Oh--and to feel wave after wave after wave of craving come and go like clockwork! On the third day, I realized I could not live like that, so I decided to continue giving myself those "breaks," but instead of using them to pour black smoke into my lungs, I would use them to step outside and breathe fresh air, or to have a cup of tea. It helped a lot to keep the punctuation marks but to turn them into something else!

    These things may or may not work for you. But they are my experience. Oh yes, also during those first two days, I relied on the online group -- using my laptop while crying in my chair :) It helped to know that there WAS light at the end of the tunnel ... that others were feeling or HAD FELT what I was feeling ... that the addiction would, someday, finally end.

    And it did!

    I hope this story helps you, even if in some small way.

    You can do it! :)

  2. hi renae,

    thank you so much for your thoughtful comments, i really do appreciate it, and you show such an insight into the quitter's mind (including how they take advice - well-meaning or otherwise!)

    thanks for sharing your experience so opening - it really helps. i have taken a mini-break from this blog, but will be trying to get back on the horse from here on in...

    take care,

  3. ... Love your blog !

    ... and actually "Reality bites" was the reason for me starting to smoke back in the 90´s - I thought Winona was so cool and I wanted to be like her - and have a super sexy boyfriend like Ethan :-) Teenagers ... Well it took me 10 year before I finally realized that I never would be as cool as Winona or land Ethan - smoking ! And now 3.5 years later i am still not as cool - but at least my lungs are ;-) Hang in there - It only gets easier ! ;-) Billy