any way, i like these book titles even if they are not all that clever. it probably appeals to the part of me that is anti the social pariahism, hysterical roll-back of basic personal freedoms, and general malediction flung at smokers without heed to the reasons people smoke and how much they actually hate themselves for it.
Monday, January 18, 2010
any way, i like these book titles even if they are not all that clever. it probably appeals to the part of me that is anti the social pariahism, hysterical roll-back of basic personal freedoms, and general malediction flung at smokers without heed to the reasons people smoke and how much they actually hate themselves for it.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
as a trying to quitter, personally, as far as i can figure out, smoking on tv or film will not always trigger the need to light.
i think that is a bit of a myth myself. seeing a madman character or for that matter a belmondo or a jean seberg light up i do not have a pang and an automated pat of my pocket for my fags. sitting in a darkened theatre, seeing smokers on screen, it is not their smoking that makes me wait impatiently for the credits to roll so i can rush out and gasp in some of the same in the fresh night air.
what does trigger it, rather than seeing the beautiful smoking on screen, is an emotion portrayed. usually, a quick, piercing insight into the soul of me or of the world. like if a film maker portrayed something like this (quoted directly from hannah waldron's blog):
"This poem 'They are the Last' by (John) Berger really stood out for me. I think he noticed something. I will pick out 1 section-
i have never read john berger's book ways of looking. now thanks to hannah, i want to. my initial investigations via trusty google (where else) led to this interesting article.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
the guilt is strange. i smoked one cigarette today. that is one more than none. but i think i should have some right to say to myself, 'good job, you have gone from smoking usually at least 10 a day down to one.' but then i feel like i should not allow myself to say that, because i am guilty of the one, and the compromises feed the devious smoker's mind.
please forgive the diversion below, but i was just thinking about guilt, and seemed to recall from 2nd year philosophy nietzsche being all over the guilt thing. some searching and i found this...this is all just taking bits and pieces and totally does not give justice to the totality of the arguments of the original text or the insights of the essay!
"to take upon oneself not punishment, but guilt. that alone would be god-like."
friedrich nietzsche
all quotes below from an essay on nietzsche's genealogy of morals here: www.bbk.ac.uk/phil/staff/academics/gemes-work/nietzsche-guilt
"Guilt, in its general form, is ethically-experienced regret at one's failure (not necessarily intentional) to honour obligations to which one genuinely feels committed;"
the essay goes on to describe the relationship between guilt and the concept of nietzsche's 'bad conscience'. in terms of an awareness of one's 'masterly' instincts for bad, anti-social behaviour and the need to quell these instincts, the experience of 'bad conscience' is an "unpleasant combination of potential guilt towards society, liability towards oneself, and the need for self-aggression towards masterly instincts."
but bad conscience can be active, positive:
"... Nietzsche suggests...to burn into a great part of one's nature a 'no' to its outward expression, to become contemptuous of instincts of which one was 'formerly' proudest, to live with the contradiction of a freedom that is both restricted (externally) and enhanced (internally), creates a wholly new phenomenology: that of human nature as problematical and contradictory, that of oneself as a riddle to oneself, that of the tortured 'inner life' perpetually examining itself, that of a compromised 'outer' freedom versus a purer 'inner' freedom. In short: with the 'bad conscience' we get 'the internalization of man', his creation of an inner, freer world, later christened 'the soul'. Nietzsche calls this state 'active' bad conscience (GM, II, 16)."
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
they smoke so fine.
gainsbourg #1: charlotte
anyway, it was a bad day for the willing. i see now this is a big fight i have on my hands here. very big, and:
"Let's face it, you're losing the one who kept you company throughout the day, got you through those stressful moments, helped you celebrate your triumphs. Yep, you're giving up your best friend."
via here
tuesday january 5
cigarette count: 2
Monday, January 4, 2010
playing tennis: john mcenroe doing what he does best. it is kind of what i look like when i crack it because i can't hit it like i want to.
Depending on the number of cigarettes you smoke, typical benefits of stopping are:
- After twelve hours almost all of the nicotine is out of your system.
- After twenty-four hours the level of carbon monoxide in your blood has dropped dramatically. You now have more oxygen in your bloodstream.
- After five days most nicotine by-products have gone.
- Within days your sense of taste and smell improves.
- Within a month your blood pressure returns to its normal level and your immune system begins to show signs of recovery.
- Within two months your lungs will no longer be producing extra phlegm caused by smoking.
- After twelve months your increased risk of dying from heart disease is half that of a continuing smoker.
- Stopping smoking reduces the incidence and progression of lung disease including chronic bronchitis and emphysema.
- After ten years of stopping your risk of lung cancer is less than half that of a continuing smoker and continues to decline (provided the disease is not already present).
- After fifteen years your risk of heart attack and stroke is almost the same as that of a person who has never smoked.
january 4 2010